How do you stay sexy..



date Tue, Jan 12, 2010 at 10:30 PM
subject [xbp84] How do you stay sexy....



UYC wrote:
I am getting fatter. Yes, I do try to lose weight but its harder & harder coz I am getting old (mmmphh). Anyway, staying lean is relevant to me.Tapi, a friend of mine (lelaki) yang dah anak enam cakap dia tak kisah his wife yang bigger than me being big coz he said " you must look your age". That is sexy enough for him. I bet he is happy and satisfied with what he already have.

So, how do stay sexy (please have your own definition of this word) for him or for her?

uya yang cantik



boonchert wrote:

the key is try to understand your man need.. susah nak buat especially those working housewife.. jgn buang masa provide benda yg dia tak perlu.. kata kawan aku, org lelaki nih kelemahan dia dua jer, atas pusat dan bawah pusat.. kalo dua2 tuh kenyang, dia jadi macam kucing.. kucing kalo kenyang ko golek ikan depan hidung dia pun dia buat tak tau.. kata kawan aku laa..

bout the fat, aku rasa laa.. untuk org yg visual type.. aku rasa cuba nak kurus nih misconception of being sexy.. takyah lose weight, but do body toning, the shape not the size.. lain kalo lelaki, the size not the shape.. tuh doktor kawan aku cakap.. doktor homeophaty jual ubat nama dinosaur.. hehe.. ada yg dah try? ;)



lynne wrote:

SEXY???? The most subjective subject of all time. For me , well groomed , fit, propotionately distibuted , muscular, perky, pointy, look good in whatever I wear, fit into many clothes that hang on the rack at the supermarket will fall into the category sexy.(very high standard that I myself never achieved...) Some scantily clad can look sexy yet others may cover top to bottom still look slutty..
My list of sexy , not sexy, and slutty...(u guys can eeewwwweeeeee.... if u want)

Sexy : Farah Khan, Queen Rania, Benazir Bhutto, Carla Bruni, Bon Jovi, Rahim Maarof, Badrul Muahayat, Faizal Tahir, Shelia Majid - now, Maya Karin, Sarimah Ibrahim, Jalaluddin Hassan (ewwweee???), Ramli MS
Not Sexy - Sheila Majid- then, Umie Aida, Scha Alyahya, Rita Rudani ,Adlin Ramli
Slutty - Brittany Spears, Ifa Raziah, dan banyak lagi...malas nak tulis...

Uya - to me, sexy is how you feel, look and carry yourself.....( and how much your spouse is turned on by you.) For most of us, may be being the right weight (not necessarily thin), and nicely groomed (anggun dan bergaya) will fit into the category of sexy . No point being thin but weak, pale, unruly and unkempt. (contoh Mary-Kate Ashley)..sumpah tak sexy--- tu contoh2 omputih yang aku ingat lah...artis2 melayu ramai dah tak kenal yang baru2 ni...

Tomoque da Vogue
Anggun dan Bergaya (susah sikit nak maintain sejak anak pi sekolah ni)



Hhabib wrote:

Mmm... Kalo tak sexy, how to stay sexy?

Aku rasa lebih tepat kalo soklannya "how to stay attractive?"

Pada Aku no. 1 kebersihan, nampak Seksi tapi tiak acem, kan hilang
selera Cik abang.



halimi wrote:

My wife cakap exactly the same as Pak Mujib cakap...."you ni, senang je nak jaga, kasi kenyang perut dan kenyang yg kat bawah tu....setel". Haha. Unfortunately for me it's true, haha.



UYC wrote:

what about bagi kenyang but kekadang buat bodo, jual mahal, main tarik tali, playing the game etc..

Theres another question, JALI JAWAB sekali ya, how do you stay connected and have colors and variety in the relationship?



jali wrote:

ok, how to stay connected and colourful? five words. Ray Free Jar Ray Tor.



boonchert wrote:

hehe.. sound to me not kenyang enuff.. ;)
have u ever heard the term "pancut tapi tak puas"?
(pls mind my language, for education purpose only.. jgn buat kerepek)



UYC wrote:

mmm...but again, we evolve (men & women) at different ages?



boonchert wrote:

err.. not really bout sexual stamina..

for education purpose only.. kalo ada yg rasa tak selesa bagitau.. sex nih topik taboo dlm org melayu.. ada sebab org tua2 tanak citer sebab byk rahsia.. takut org muda2 salah guna.. paling kuat pun dia pesan jaga laki ko baik2, tapi tak bagitau pun camna nak jaga..

ada satu kawan pompuan aku citer psal lelaki n sex.. obviously sama ada kita nak avoid atau tidak, man n sex nih macam err.. kapur dgn sirih or laut dgn pantai (boleh camnih? ;)) dia yg bagitau aku camna nak kenal lelaki melalui sexual intercourse.. dia selalu quote, isteri patutnya yg paling kenal laki dia.. unless isteri-isteri buat tak kisah psal sexual intercourse dgn laki dia.. kelemahan, kekuatan, imaginasi, kreativiti, and basically on how a man living his life interpreted in his sexual behaviour.. i'm not sure how to elaborate this since i never have sex with man ;) but i use it to understand myself.. healthy man will have healthy sex life.. when he can control his sexual desire, he can control his life.. woman that can control her man sexual desire can shape his life.. that was what she concluded..

dia bagi tips, sama cam aku jumpa dlm satu kitab lama, nafsu nih kita takleh buang.. manusia tanpa nafsu tak hidup, sebab tuh Tuhan bagi nafsu.. so ada masa kena layan nafsu nih, tapi jgn sampai habis (bukan maksud aku berenti setengah :P).. simpan sket utk surprise lain kali.. so nafsu nih akan sentiasa teruja.. keep coming back.. ini key dia.. make him keep coming back.. kalo nafsu nih puas melampau2, next time dia mintak lagi banyak tak larat melayan, or end up dia dah tak teruja and switch target.. macam memancing, ada time kena biar, ada time kena tarik, ada time kena sentap.. tapi kalo biar lama2 ikan terlepas.. kalo tarik cepat2 pun boleh jadi lepas.. kena bagi cukup2, tak lebih tak kurang.. how? pay intention on bed..

bunyi macam dlm kepala lelaki nih takder benda selain sex kan? its only part of it.. remember the quote, "Man's greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman" ..

so how to stay sexy? u have to feel sexy before u can make other people agree with it.. start by being fully naked infront of the big mirror and appreciate yurself.. tapi kalo tak boleh feel, get help.. baannyaakk equipment leh tolong org pompuan, berbanding lelaki yg balik2 kena lari keliling kampung, naik beskal bodo, angkat besi.. eisshh.. wish i can have firm muscle by being lazy.. duh



KSS wrote:

oklah, aku share something aku terbaca hari tu bab ni. aku hanya recall saja no... (terbaca ha.. nicky, dengar tu, terbaca... bukan saja2 baca hehe!)

what men wants, what women wants change with age... betul tu mcm kata kak Uya.

article tu kata, men sexual desire peaks at early 20s, women peak at early 30s. setiap orang berbeza, so ada yg lambat baru peak or earlier... ada yg last for ages...

masa kita 20s, married couple baru experience it, so depa honeymoon selalu... enjoy the moments la katakan.. Career baru start, anak2 baru start nak mai. They enjoyed everything. dan sama2 belajar... yg kurang sana sini, masing2 bertolak ansur.

kata article tu lagi, bila masuk 30s, anak2 dah ramai, membesar, career pun tengah naik, semua orang busy... walaupun women peaks at early 30s, tapi busy punya pasai, anak2 kecik kacau etc, either they choose to ignore sex or they simply try to adapt their best to the situation... body pun tak dan nak jaga etc... ya la, nak pi spa ka, exercise semua x sempat.. yg men pulak, pun sama lah.. cuma since dah peak masa 20s, masuk 30s tu, depa slow down sikit... (betul ka, aku tak tau, kena check penulis article tu la).. lagi pun waktu ni, their career pun tengah dok naik...

then, masuk 40s... ni when the new world begins... article tu kata la (bukan aku). Men punya 'tanduk' mai balik, but this time, not only the desires but also mula suka dimanja... the level of manja tu increases with age after 40s.. kalau wife waktu tu sebok dgn MLM, career, meeting Wanita sana-sini, mula la men rasa 'kekosongan'.... kena pulak waktu tu, income dah stable (atau dah berlebihan), anak2 dah besar, so men start cari lain yg boleh mengisi kekosongan tadi ... article tu kata, orang tak perasan perubahan to men waktu ni... manja tu lebih sikit... depa pulak ganti anak2... anak2 dah besar, tak manja dah.. .bapa budak pulak jadi anak budak hehe.... aku dah lupa dah article tu kata apa pasal women at this age.... tak silap, when gets to late 40s then 50s.. orang pompuan start emosional sebab dah start menopause...
men pulak... never stops... bak kata macam buah kelapa, lagi tua lagi lemak

yg lain2 aku tak ingat dah article tu...



UYC wrote:

its always challenging. nak mai manja pulak laa....bila kita nak bagi manja, tak dan nak manja, bila kita cemuih dah nak manja, nak mai manja. larat la nak melayan....kuang!kuang!kuang!



Hhabib wrote:

tu la tu... last last laki bini buat perangai... tu yg berantakan tu...
(at least kita kat sini ingat mengingati kan Om)



boonchert wrote:

aku penah tak setuju dgn statement 40 nih but then aku terpaksa setuju sebab bila lately aku sembang2 dgn org umah aku psal benda2 camnih dia kata, "mmg betul.. papa skrg nih mengada2 lebih.." errkk..

kata kawan aku pulak, masa 30 mmg slow sket, masuk 40 mmg camtuh.. (i've been thinking yg 30 dah hebat masuk 40.. pergh), masuk mid 50 slow balik.. sebab dia dah lepas age tuh dan dah rasa semua.. so i guess, "guys ada bonus 15 tahun lagi!".. hehe..



KSS wrote:

mcm tu tak apa Jib... yg syoknya... yg selama ni tak mengada... tiba2 lepas baca ni jadi mengada2... yg dah mengada.. jedi lebih mengada2.... sebab kalu tak mengada nanti depa kata "awat hubby aku ni tak mcm orang lain... x mengada dgn aku. samada dia tak normal, atau dia dok mengada dgn orang lain".... jeng.. jeng... jeng...!


btw, ada kawan kat ofis, dah 50s.... dia selalu dok komplen... suami dia kalahkan kanak2... so, she call him baby... husband dah pencen... anak tak ada... bila husband tak kerja... breakfast kena teman suami, then pi ofis, lunch pun kena balik pi makan kedai dgn suami.... dinner dll lagi lah.... bila dia travel pi China ka etc, kejap2 kena sms... last2, dia suruh suami dia cari kerja lain.... keep him busy..



lynne wrote:

I think the income and time have more to do than age. Kalau early dah achieve "comfortable" tu, may be lagi rancak kut at earlier age. True mostly at 40s may income dah stable, masa pun banyak sebab anak2 dah makin besar, bini pun dah malas nak ikut pi HRC or pi party sana sini...so lagi banyak chance nak keluar bersosial bersama kawan2. Bab manja tu....dari pengalaman aku sendiri...I do feel lagi banyak demand makin2 berumur ni...lagi banyak kena bagi attention kat laki...bagi je lah... tak luak pun...tak tau lah how you guys feel...



Hhabib wrote:

Ya Rob!!! Gumbiranya Om!!!



boonchert wrote:

hahahaa.. seronok kisah umahtangga nih.. macam2 hal.. sapa yg tak kawin lagi tuh baik kawin cepat.. hehe
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how to visualize?




Topic: how to visualize?


BP wrote:
hi..
a fren makes me realize the secret, despite of so many years i've been talking, discussing n even preaching about it, now i know what i am searching..

but i have one question.. how to visualize?

i can imagining thing but its all in black n white.. sometimes i can feel but i can't see it.. most of the time, i normally imagining the word and number, not the real picture..

is it normal? anybody care to help?


JM wrote:
Hi! I listen to the CD's a lot. They state to visualize or picture what you want and then another contributer states to add movement. Movement is what will make this real. Rhonda Byrne also states that everyone involved in The Secret meditates.

My suggestion .... sit quietly. Take that picture in your mind and bring it to life with color. Color will also make it REAL! Now add movement to it. If you are visualizing a Ferrari ~ make it metalic red or whatever color suits you. This is one hot car now. But a Ferrari isn't all that unless you are driving it. Hear the engine? Feel it hug the curves on that country road. It is a beautiful day ~ take the top off that bad boy and feel the air rushing around you. The air is so fresh and clean smelling! Feel the vibration of that smooth vehicle. Feel your fingers grasping the wheel. Now take that dream and drive wherever you want in the world. Add whoever you want to the passengers side. Stop for a meal at a resturant wherever you want. Do whatever you want with this. HAVE FUN!!! There are no rules!!!

Use you imagination Boonchert. You can do this! Let me know what happens. Ok? Smile and love this image ... it is your dream!
Jan ;D


BP wrote:
cool.. i'm in phase of searching an actual image that match my dream.. and your word on movement is actually move me now.. thanks jan.. ;)


JM wrote:
There are NO RULES!! That in and of itself is so totally free-ing to me! I can dance on quicksand! My Ferrari drives along the Great Wall of China and within an instant I am driving by the Eifel Tower in Paris!! It is FUN! So kick off your shoes; sit in a comfy chair or floor or wherever and relax and have FUN!!

Ok? ;>


MA wrote:
I've got the same problem...I'm completely unable to visualize.....


BP wrote:
monica, maybe you can do it in reverse.. a fren told me that once.. find the thing that you want and take the picture if possible.. and practice using that picture to visualize.. and read what jan wrote about adding the movement.. i got a goosebump already.. ;)


JM wrote:
Thanks Boonchert!! I just got goosebumps!! We are here for eachother!


LWP wrote:
When I am (reading) the secret/watching the secret or driving in my car I visualize to myself things, places, that can HAPPEN if I apply the secret, and eventhough at times it (has/can be) difficult I keep reminding myself that all I need to do is believe in GOD & the secret and I got it made


MS wrote:
Jan is so right, let your imagination be like a film, children when they play and make-believe they do not sit still they are active, they talk it is all a motion, get intouch with that childish make-believe as children we have no boundaries as we get older we create them because our creative side gets suppressed so get intouch with the younger side of you, your creative mind. Think of all that you desire like a moving image, a film if you will and keep thinking I am visulaising and I am thankful for receiving..... I receive it now. Go have fun as Jan says there are no rules as human we make the rules but children in play have no rules so get back to that child-like play as the universe know no limit to time, space it is ageless!


AK wrote:
add feelings/emotions too


BP wrote:
thanks for the great tips! you guys are the true cool people..

just that i found that somehow it is difficult for me to visualize in silence.. ;) so i use music.. i create a powerpoint slide of my dream and add a few tracks on it.. i play the slide every morning when i woke up and every nite before i go to sleep..

and now i understood what you guys mean by adding feeling and emotion.. so everytime i hear the song, my dream just pop-up in my mind and giving me the feeling of passion and excitement, even though i am out on the street.. i feels like i already got it.. i guess i already hypnotized myself.. haha

i'm very grateful i have great life, family and frens.. and hell yeah! ain't nothing gonna stop me now, no more.. ;) from great to excellence!

thanks great people.. let be here for each other ;)


SK wrote:
I'll give you an example.:

Years ago, i was taking the bus every day to my school and then by train.
Took me about almost 1hour and 15min to get to my school.
In the bus, i was listening to my favourite Singer, Gackt.

Here a little taste:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTcu0V4E5wc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-OrqyUgelU

Everytime i was listening to his songs in the bus i started visualizing how awesome it would be seeing him on stage and i was there.
With the Songs and such i actually felt that i was really at the stage watching him sining. It was awesome! I almost fall asleep too, haha, cuz i was really mentally into that "dream".
I did not hear anything about the secret or visualizing or anything about it that day. I did not even know that i was visualizing, for me it was daydreaming lol but it was so "real" for me haha.
I did that every single day to just pass time haha.

Here is the thing....
I live in Austria, Gackt is a japanese Star, which means, its kinda impossible to see him at all. Because Japanese Stars don't go on tour in Europe, or hardly.
You have a better chance seeing them in Japan (of course) or in America.

So the story ends with something i did not expected at all.
I visited friends in America and we went to the Anime Expo 2007 in Long Beach California.
Huge Convention! The first day at the Convention we walked around watching all the stuff there, then i saw a men handing me Tickets.
I asked for what it was, he said for "S.K.I.N.".

Never heard of S.K.I.N......
He gave me a flyer and i was reading that SKIN is actually a band of famous Japanese SuperStars.
Then i read it.... and it gave me a shock.... i was literly turning white.
Gackt was one part of the band and i was holding the Ticket so see Gackt live on stage.
That was one of the best days in my life, because also, it was my birthday that day too :)

P.S.: I even took some pictures of that. You can find that in my Photo Album :D


AJ wrote:
ALERT ALERT, WARNING WILL ROBINSON...
Someone above mentioned believe in god. The secret is about you, about your relationship with the universe, you need nothing else. Don't go adding false deities invented years a go by people who didn't have logic to know the truth. Go with the secret, it is enough.


LWP wrote:
I visualize myself feeling free from feeling anxious,etc. Also confident enough to work more hours at work, also able to achieve my PERFECT weight (120lbs) by 12/26/10 and keep it off!!! Also stop being a rageaholic,etc esp towards Marty. Also better money mgt, and keeping things neat etc


SC wrote:
Use mind movies. I use them for love, money, homes etc. There are tons of them on Youtube. Save them to harddrive and keep watching see the money in your pocket for example, feel the feelings, see you buying your stuff you want.
Bookmark things you want to buy and stare on them 6-25mins at time.

Like Bruce Lee said. Focus on the picture(in this case a mind video or picture of what you want) Then believe it is yours like something you ordered from a catalog and know it cant be stopped!.

I just materialisaed and extra 150 in online loot for next month. I think we need to totally put effort on pictures and seeing us with the items like we own . Not just 5 mins for the day everyone. But put 6-30mins on your dreamhouse, Cars, love life, picturing your bod in perfect health.

Cash, see yourself spending the cash and also using it to help others.

And of course above all else, remember to give thanks and gratitude on everything from your feet touching the ground, to the roof above your head to the clothes on your back.

Good luck everyone and please keep in touch. We are who we focus to be!


SC wrote:
Hi Susanne I use the score from Avatar's trailers and the scores from the movie to really get my energy up before meditating and visualizing on things I want too. Music really gets you feeling good and thats how you want to clear your mind before you start your meditations.

Watching something funny or listen to your favorite soothing or rock music or movie soundtrack before starting.

Incredible how the music from James Camerons Avatar can get me totally full of energy and feeling good.


LT wrote:
The best way to visualise I have ever found and it works like magic is to make something called a "mind movie".

They are all over youtube where people make movies/vids to attract money, freedom, win the lotto etc. I came across a site on making mind movies and was totally inspired!!! It is basically a better more hip and motivational vision board :). I would watch these vids on youtube CONSTANTLY but NEVER once did it cross my mind to make one myself!

I used windows Movie maker (free on all windows systems, just do a search), Searched up "how to use Windows Movie maker", picked an inspirational song (over a rainbow), used google images and searched for all the pics I wanted to be in this lil vid, put all my affirmations in the vid also, and spent an entire day making this vid for the first tiime in my life. I put all of my energy into making my first ever vid and it came out perfect! Exactly Me!!! All that I want to achieve "Wealth and Freedom" in one movie.

Now every morning and night I watch my 8 minuite movie and I see and visualise and feel all that I put into that vid cause it was my inner desires. I visualise the money and the feeling of having it. I visualise all the things I buy with it and the lifestyle I live, I visualise my business taking off and continuing to grow, I visualise the wonderful freedom this money brings to go wherever I want and do whatever I want whenever I like, I visualise the fun, excitement, peace freedom and prosperity.....because the are all in that vid! And with the song I chose to play with it I am brought close to tears of excitement and contentment each time.

MAKE A MIND MOVIE!!!!


OT wrote:
I can paint :)


SC wrote:
Jan and Lolyolah T.. I love your ideas and yep I like mind movies and mix it up with my vision boards. Mind movies rock as long as you put concentration and feelings and emotion into the images. You will get what you want in no time. Just free your mind of doubt and negativity and feell good!
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Why do you cheat?



subject [xbp84] Why do you cheat?
date Tue, Dec 29, 2009 at 12:25 PM



UYC wrote:

Hey guys,

Baru2 ni I got to know about a friend of mine who is in his fifties is having an affair with another friend of mine who is in her forties. Both of them are good looking, slim, with money & have children. The man has a wife and 2 kids. The lady is a single mother with adopted children.They are Chinese.

I also know that when you come to forties or fifties, that is when it all starts but I also know that some people start younger. It is like trend (maybe).

So, why do people cheat? (regardless of race or gender - very politically correct - ha!ha!).

I have got one reason down : bored with same same stuff - must look at new stuff.

I am sure this topic will get good reception.


Hhabib wrote:

I'm not suppose to contribute here because... I dont cheat!!!! he he he

Anyway, there are a lot of reasons... internal, external... kadang2 mungkin pasangan tu tak serasi tapi they carried on because of them having small children... anak dah besor2 baru berani sikit...

kadang2... kalau laki dah senang sikit.... dia tak yah nak ngorat, dia jadi cam magnet lak, pompuan yg datang carik... carik laki yg dah established, tak yah susah2... cuci kaki je...

ish... mcm2 la....


amri_ya wrote:

benda baru mmg best....tp sat saja la. Tepuk dada tanya selera......kalau tanya selera dulu alamat bertepuk dahi la smedang


neezat wrote:

ye, aku setuju....

Why tu subjektif.... and aku pun baru je dengar citer yg lebih kurang dlm seminggu ni. Orang yang begitu confident things macam ni takkan jadi kat dia, lastnye kalah juge...

so rasanye apa yang penting, kerjasama...eh silap, apa yang penting sentiasa beringat, berfikir panjang and berdoa (pada aku ni yg paling penting) mintak dipelihara dari segala yang buruk and diberi segala kebaikan....amin.


halimi wrote:

One word...lonely.
U can be married and have children but you can still be lonely :)


mdhus wrote:

hahahaha...call it whatever...it's just a reason being the MAN!!!


UYC wrote:

Mmmm... somehow that puts it in a different perspective. At some point of a relationship, somehow, communication breaks. Many factors contribute to breaking of communication. List is endless...

She dont understand what I say, He doesnt think what I do is important etc etc...

I also see many men who are lonely and its so apparent. I also feel that the situation is reversible, takes a lot of energy, patience and knocking down of ego level on both sides but - doable.

Being lonely, nudge the guy a bit, thats it - affair at any level boleh jalan.

But, many of these lonely man are very much in love with their first love - still, but they do not know how to reverse the situation. There is an abundance of love, romance and sexual capacity which may be bursting out of these men...mmm...but yet...

Neezat, yup, beringat, fikir panjang and doa...amin.


Hhabib wrote:

but then, setengah org yg tak lonely tu pulak... nak find space for himself pulak... ater camner.... manusia kan serba kekurangan, baik suami baik isteri, yg jadi masalah nya bila either one nampak kekurangan pasangannya lebih dari kelebihan...


boonchert wrote:

manusia dgn Tuhan jer serba kekurangan.. manusia dengan manusia takder kurang takder lebih, cuma ramai dari kita tak gunakan potensi dengan optimum.. kita suami isteri nih cermin diri sesama sendiri.. kalau kita rasa spouse kita tak betul, kena check balik diri kita, mungkin kita pun tak betul.. atau mungkin Tuhan tengah duga kita, bukan duga dia... sama juga bila kita rasa spouse kita saja2 cari salah kita, makna mmg kita salah.. sama ada mmg kita betul2 salah atau kita mmg tetap ada salah sebabkan dia boleh jadi camtuh.. maka bila kita rasa ada masalah, masalah itu adalah kita, bukan org lain.. cuma jangan terlalu salahkan diri sendiri..

apa pun semua itu adalah ibadah kita pada Tuhan.. kita kahwin sebab Nabi saw suruh kahwin.. sebab itu fitrah manusia.. tak boleh lari.. bila kita ikut fitrah kita dan ikut apa yg Nabi saw suruh, maknanya itu ibadah kita pada Tuhan.. bila kita buat ibadah kena ikutlah rukun2 sunat wajibnya.. tapi bukan makna kita leh atur hidup kita dgn kehendak kita.. ada takdir.. ada qada.. ada qadar.. semuanya keje Tuhan..

sebab tuh dlm Islam kita kena muhasabah diri selalu.. bukan hanya tgok dosa kita dengan Tuhan, itu bahagian yg mudah, tapi kena insafi salah kita sesama manusia.. sakit hati kita, dengki kita, iri hati kita, sombong kita.. sebab impak hubungan antara manusia nih lebih kuat balik pada diri kita sendiri.. hablum min allah dan hablum min annas.. dua2 hubungan kena kaji.. tinggal salah satu rosak hidup.. tak jumpa syurga kat dunia macammana nak masuk syurga di akhirat.. lain kali kita define syurga tuh..

ada sorg kawan pesan kat aku, simple method nak tau hidup kita nih betul ke idak, kita check balik solat kita.. ini asas ibadah.. hidup nih ibadah.. Tuhan cipta manusia utk menyembah Dia.. hidup nih cara kita menyembah Tuhan.. solat tu cara kita nak tau sama ada ibadah hidup kita nih dah lurus ke blum.. biasanya kita nih niat masa takbir betul, masuk baca surah kepala otak dah melilau dok ingat keje laa, hutang org tanak bayar laa.. kdg2 maghrib tertib, subuh yg pendek gear express, teringat anak2 belum bangun atau sakit hati suami tak bangun2 solat lagi.. semua itu gambaran hidup kita.. kalau solat kita tenang maknanya hidup kita tenang.. haa tuh cara muhasabah, bukan saja2 duduk pikir sedih2 jer.. mula dgn perhatikan solat kita..

wallahualam..
(mcm kuliah subuh lak ye mah.. hehe)


amri_ya wrote:

benda baru mmg best....tp sat saja la. Tepuk dada tanya selera...... kalau tanya selera dulu alamat bertepuk dahi la smedang


Hhabib wrote:

entah la... aku rasa ramai jejantas kat sini dah cukup pening ngan perangai bini memasing, kalau bukak cawangan, seronok tambah sikit, problem/ tanggungjawab tambah banyak... ah!! suka2 hati la...


KSS wrote:

bukak cawangan berdaftar elok tak pe kak mah , buka cawangan2 tak berdaftar ni yg masalah....


UYC wrote:

Well.
Yang betul2 keluar reasons to cheat so far is; bored, lonely and pening dengan perangai bini or laki.


Hhabib wrote:

mana2 pun ada masalah... yg setia dgn yg satu pun bermasalah, yg bercawangan berdaftar pun ada masalah, yg tak berdaftar pun bermasalah...


KSS wrote:

UYC - ni reasons from this website: http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/infidelity_and_cheating/public/why_do_spouses_cheat.html


mdhus wrote:

Alasan je tu.....find the reason so that we can accept why we cheat....
Well, memang dah dari azali lagi lelaki tu dijadikan memang takkan cukup dengan seorang je.....sebab tu dibenarkan lelaki kawin lebih dari seorang....bab2 ni aku nk ulas panjang2 pun aku tak la pandai sangat...

so called it whatever reason is....xde jawapan yg tepat...


boonchert wrote:

lonely is such beautiful word for boredom.. ;)
sepi itu indah..


UYC wrote:

Yes, that word again, boredom.


KSS wrote:

wait... wait... boredom, lonely ....... shall I add boring?

(kalau boring kat rumah, depa cari 'kawan lain'.... kalau boring kat ofis... kena cari kerja lain nampak gayanya... :)


boonchert wrote:

takder kawan pun busan.. kawan banyak pun busan..
takder keje busan.. banyak keje pun busan..
akal tepu otak takleh jalan..
bored is a mental state.. visual type..

sorang pun sunyi.. berdua pun sunyi..
ada satu pun sunyi.. ada dua pun sunyi..
rasa kosong tak terisi..
lonely is a state of concious.. feeling type..

namun tenang itu juga kosong..
tapi kosong yang terisi..
meditasi dlm kendali..

cam usin cakap.. reason being a man..
back to basic..
asal kejadian hawa pengisian apa kepada adam as?

wallahualam..


UYC wrote:

asal kejadian hawa pengisian apa kepada adam as?
what does this mean?


boonchert wrote:

basic answer to your original question..
why do people cheat..

woman cannot feel alive if they don' feel beautiful..
a man greatest desire is to please a woman..
wanna me to elaborate more?


UYC wrote:

yes please....


boonchert wrote:

on the final sunday of 2009, somehow i was attending a woman beauty convention. it was a woman event of woman talk about woman stuff.. how i got there is another part of the story but i learned one more thing about woman during the total 4 hours of observation and being all ear to all the woman.

one of the speaker throwed a question, "how many of you dare to be fully naked infront of the big mirror in your own room, looking at yourself and feel beauty? we can tell other people its ok and we don't mind, but can we lied to ourself?"

suddenly i remembered a few months back, i was making a joke on one of my lady friend about her hair. i said her hair 'senget'. she was terrified, immidiately went to the washroom to check and after that was asking almost every friend in the office whether its true, even after i told her that i was only making fun of her and her hair looks perfect. the next day, she had a new hairstyle. all that i said to myself was, "woman. sigh."

pendek citer, kesimpulannya, adakah kita benar2 rasa kita cantik? sebab bila seorg wanita merasa dia cantik, dia punya keyakinan diri.. bila seorg wanita ada yakin diri, tidak ada apa yg mustahil baginya, tiada apa yg mampu merosakkan plan hidupnya.. dia tak perlu pujian anak2nya, tidak merasa terganggu jika wanita lain mengurat suaminya, malah pakaian murah terlihat mahal ditubuhnya, dia jadi trend-setter..

and all that only happens when a woman really feel that she is beautiful, regardlessly..
wallahualam..


mdhus wrote:

a man greatest desire is to please a woman...(singular ke plural ni jib) but i like this statement!!


boonchert wrote:

collectively.. only one.. ;)

actual quote:
"Man's greatest motivating force is his desire to please woman"
source: Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill.

sebab tuh kalo kita paham bab nih, kita akan paham konsep bidadari syurga..
bila Nabi saw kata dalam syurga nanti ada banyak bidadari yg masih perawan, bukan bermakna org Islam nih gila seks.. ini rahsianya.. sex transmutation.. the transferring of one element of energy to other..

The emotion of sex is an "irresistible force," against which there can be no such opposition as an "immovable body." When driven by this emotion, men become gifted with a super power for action. Understand this truth, and you will catch the significance of the statement that sex transmutation will lift one to the status of a genius. The emotion of sex contains the secret of creative ability

dan bila kita lelaki quote "life begin at 40", ianya kerna by that age, kita org lelaki nih dah paham akan correlation between emotion of sex, love and romance.. kita dah in control of our sex desire compared to those uncontrollable-testerone days..

maka kalau kita rasa hidup mulai bosan dan sunyi, it might due to disturbance our sex glands.. ;)

wallahualam


UYC wrote:

For a man:
It is important to actually understand this. To achieve your goals in life (whatever they may be), sex (love & romance) is important, hence your sex partner is important. Your sex partner is equal to your goal. Part of your responsibility is to shape your partner to support you achieve whatever you want to achieve. At any one time you may want to give up and abandon your partner because the partner cannot drive you. If you do this, you are abondoning yourself and your own ability to shape, mould and become the man that you can be. The word abandon can be translated to many interpertation.

For a woman :
Understand that we are the superior being :)
Deep...


boonchert wrote:

err.. pola mental lelaki berbeza.. lemme share a secret.. its actually women that shape a man, not vice versa.. sex partner is actually the goal for the man.. even wealth itself mean nothing to a man without a woman..

The woman who understands man's nature and tactfully caters to it, need have no fear of competition from other women. Men may be "giants" with indomitable will-power when dealing with other men, but they are easily managed by the women of their choice.

Most men will not admit that they are easily influenced by the women they prefer, because it is in the nature of the male to want to be recognized as the stronger of the species. Moreover, the intelligent woman recognizes this "manly trait" and very wisely makes no issue of it.

Some men know that they are being influenced by the women of their choice--their wives, sweethearts, mothers or sisters--but they tactfully refrain from rebelling against the influence because they are intelligent enough to know that NO MAN IS HAPPY OR COMPLETE WITHOUT THE MODIFYING INFLUENCE OF THE RIGHT WOMAN. The man who does not recognize this important truth deprives himself of the power which has done more to help men achieve success than all other forces combined.

so women must stay relevant to her hubby in order to have the power of influence..
ps: sorry sifu.. ;)


marina wrote:

Woww...
I like this...


boonchert wrote:

its obvious sis.. sejak dari lelaki pertama dicipta dah mcam tuh.. kalau idak, takkanlah manusia pertama yg Tuhan cipta leh langgar satu-satunya peraturan yg ada dalam syurga.. influence of a woman.. ;)


amri_ya wrote:

ala....sifu pun merepek saja tu. Kalau hang tanya dia soklan, mmg dia punya jawapan tu ambigious... .kita kena guess apa yang tersirat. Ilmu ni yang payah nak belajar....sebab tu dia dekat nak cukup quota....kita ni still dok tahap BTTS.....hihihi


halimi wrote:

Pandai la korang dok merepek, nak cukupkan quota la apa la....

Hello braders, tambah cawangan bukan hal mudah (exception Usin la....tu aku kira kes exceptional, tak ramai yang kawin mudah macam tu..kita nampak yang depan-depan je...behind the story kita tak tau....)....so toksah la dok dok buat main macam tu...buat malu kita kaum jantan saja la korang nih....

Uya tanya soalan yang elok, yg educational, korang dok merepek tak tentu hala ni apa hal...

Memang betui la, 10% discuss, 90% merepek tak abis-abis.


mdhus wrote:

aku ikut sunah nabi...sunah tu je yg mampu aku buat....


nicky wrote:

all my uncle,my dad,my mum,mertua,atu ngan nenek aku kawin lebih sekali...rekod dipegang atuk tiri aku...24 bini yang ada surat kawin, yang takdak surat more than 20 bini...sapa kata cakap aku tak leh pakai???


boonchert wrote:

ayat Quran yg turun psal poligami nih bermula dengan ayat, "kahwinlah 4".. Tuhan tak kata kawin satu dulu.. Dia kata 4, kalo tak mampu 3,2, dan kahwinlah 1 jer kalau tak sanggup.. kalo tak mampu gak, Dia kata puasa..

ini hebat ayat Tuhan.. bila Dia kata 4, membuak2 nih semangat org lelaki.. this is pure emotion of sex.. kemudian bila Dia turunkan quote tuh sikit2, maknanya kita kena paham akan tanggungjawab pulak..

sex nih macam dadah.. kalau kita misused, dia akan kontrol kita.. mmg tak tentu arah jadinya.. maka biasanya org lelaki nih dah touch umur 40 baru dia tahu potensi sexual urge nih.. normal term, org sebut matang.. he will not just having sex, but making love..

ada kawan aku quote, ada lelaki yg mmg highly intelligence so that they need more than one woman to stimulate his genius.. and i do have a few highly intelligence friend ;)


mdhus wrote:

i just smile......n smiling still...


nicky wrote:

kira macam target sales la nih, every year banyak tu boringla, masuk tahun ketiga bulan februari dah sampai


boonchert wrote:

some seek quality my fren..
not necessary quantity..
u can have more with different quality..
some even got more with same quality..
and some got one with multi-quality..
anything that suit your imagination and creativity.. ;)

macam nih.. ada org yg mmg multi-tasking..
org macam nih leh buat multi-job in one time..
so they may need more than 1 target at one time..
or else they are not fully utilise his potential..
unless this multi-tasking guy meet multi-talented target..
and some guy, cannot do so many job in one time..
this one is monogamist.. the normal guy.. ;)

ps: org pompuan paham ker aku citer apa?


nicky wrote:

elaborate "quality" ngan "creativity" pulak bro?
(orang pompuan kalau tak paham boleh tanya Zubet..dia multi......)hihihi


boonchert wrote:

imaginasi berdasarkan pengalaman.. sama ada yg kita pernah lihat, dengar atau baca.. otak kita akan proses semua pengalaman nih dan susun semula dalam minda kita dan kita boleh bayangkan atau rasakan.. bergantung sama ada kita visual type atau feeling type.. sebab tuh bila org suh kita imagine sesuatu, ada org mmg nampak dan ada org boleh rasa.. maka, contohnya, kalau kita feeling type, gambaran yg kita bayangkan tak cukup kuat impak pada minda kita.. contoh lagi, org yg visual type, dia terangsang dgn apa yg dia nampak, kena pakai smart, misai kena cukur, kalo idak dia tengok kita jer dah turn down.. beza dgn org feeling type, dia akan peka dgn sentuhan dan tone dlm suara kita.. tapi kdg2 misai kena cukur jugak sebab misai rasa tajam2 cucuk kulit dia turn down juga.. ;)

belum jawab soalan ek.. ok.. kreativiti satu level atas imaginasi.. kalo imaginasi otak kita susun, tapi kreativiti otak kita mix n alter pengalaman kita.. hasilnya.. new invention or innovation.. contoh, kita suka pesen misai tak cukur dan kita tau dia pulak feeling type, so nampak tak kemas tak beri impak kuat berbanding rasa, kita adjust taruk lotion ker minyak kelapa ker kat misai supaya tak cucuk2.. bila misai tak terasa tajam, dia tetap rasa nyaman.. win-win.. creativity.. ;)

dan kualiti pulak bergantung pada apa yg kita mahu.. since asal ko citer aku assume psal kawin, aku pun bagi contoh psal kawin.. ada org suka yg pemalu, maka dia cari yg pemalu.. ada yg suka gedik, cari pulak yg gedik.. ada yg suka malu2 tapi gedik.. sebab tuh kita takleh judge apa yg kawan kita pilih.. dan juga bukan semua dari kita nih tau apa kualiti yg kita nak.. by time baru kita paham.. ada juga yg baru discover kualiti yg lebih kita perlukan.. not our fault but natural cause.. cinta org lelaki nih takleh dipaksa.. sama ada paksa utk terima ataupun paksa utk tolak.. org pompuan lain, dia boleh adjust, tanam dan suburkan.. kita org lelaki takder kebolehan nak buat camtuh.. sebab tuh kita tak boleh beranak.. literally speaking ;)

maka kualiti yg kita pilih akan bergantung pada imaginasi dan kreativiti minda kita.. ini fundamentalnya..

cukup? ke nak lagi? ;)


nicky wrote:

maksud hang, time muda muda dulu kita tak tahu pilih pasal kita tahu apa yang kita nak atau rasa apa yang kita mau??( i'm asking on behalf of zubet..hihihi)


boonchert wrote:

kawan aku cakap, "always trust your first instinct"..
believe me, man has a lot of first instinct.. ;)


UYC wrote:

I totally agree. A GOOD WOMAN also have got good first instincts. I also believe that kalu niat tak betul akan kacau this first instinct


nicky wrote:

zizie punya instinct tu first,second,third..atau no berapa??


boonchert wrote:

first instinct sblm niat..
lepas niat jadi 2nd instinct..
kalo niki, basic instinct.. hehe


nicky wrote:

koew teow...ada bayan baru punya,kat market BM,kulim ,KL,JB dan merata tempat..kalau dah order tapi tak sedap tetap hang perabih kan..latest yang best aku try kat Alma dekat Maybank.second time try pun sedap lagi, third time rasa dah kureng, pastu aku tak pi dah..so aku rasa aku ni "try instict" instead of basic instinct..hihihi


boonchert wrote:

guys, love affair nih bukan boleh plan..
kalo plan jadi organise crime, cam kes avanza..

tell me, d'ya plan to fall in love with your spouse now?


nicky wrote:

sure!!siap ada blue plan lagi..hihihi


UYC wrote:

She has zero instincts. Instinct to me me is a positive thing.

No, I dont have any plans to fall in love with my spouse, but I am sure that he had extravangant, fail proof plan for me to fall in love with him.


nicky wrote:

kalau tak dak plan macam buat menda pakai redah je, maksud aku dalam semua hal kita kena plan., termasuk kerja harian..contah paling mudah untuk UYC paham..kalau nak start kereta...step kebiasaan kena buka pintu,check gear position, masuk kunci dan pulas...aku tak tahu lah kalau hang huluq kunci kot tingkap pastu start kereta..


sabri wrote:

yeah,,
aku memang plan .. dengan wif aku ni..
syukur dapat isteri mcm wif aku..


UYC wrote:

Masa jatuh cinta dulu, takdak plan nak jatuh cinta. Nama pon JATUH, tapi memang cinta, sampai sekarang la cinta tu.

Sekarang selalu jugak buat plans. Plans to stay sexy, plans to stay romantic, plans to stay ceria, plans to stay connected, agak2 segala bagai plans la. I rasa we are ready for our next stage of discussion kot.


boonchert wrote:

err.. let just have a simple discussion..
there is no right or wrong.. its only choice..
the quest here is to understand people, not judge..

banyak org tak nak diskas benda nih openly, sebab takut org kata dia salah.. takut org tembak dia.. or they think its too personal.. i'm not asking citer dlm kelambu.. its in yur heart.. atau ada pulak takut kelihatan tak pandai.. apalagi bila jawapan semua org tak sama dgn jawapan dia.. tapi benda macam nih yg byk mulakan hal dlm rumahtangga.. bila kita ignore.. itu yg benda ntah apa2 pun boleh jadi besar.. kita lupa macammana nak ingat asal mula citer kenapa kita kawin..

there is no right or wrong in relationship.. only some thing work and some not.. some may sound stupid to others but work wonder for you.. biasa yg aku jumpa, we focus on the spouse, wherelse the solution is inside us.. kita melarikan diri dari masalah dgn cara buat tak tahu.. walaupun kdg2 rumahtangga nampak aman tapi dun sangka clear water no boya.. bukan aku suruh suspicious dgn spouse tapi kita kena perlu paham dan guna benda2 nih untuk jadi org hebat.. when we deserve to be great, why settle at being good?

sama macam hidup kita nih.. bila dlm diri kita tau kita mmg nak jadi kaya, mengapa kita dok doa jadi sederhana? musuh kita adalah diri kita sendiri.. our spouse is our another half.. we need to understand that and use it to boost our potential..kita kena buat keputusan untuk diri sendiri bukan untuk org lain.. soalannya adakah kita betul2 yakin dgn apa yg kita nak? cuba tengok spouse kita tidur malam nih, and ask ourself again, why we need her/him? takyah bagitau aku.. korg renung balik.. kenapa korg tergila2 kat dia dulu dan adakah korg masih rasa gila yg sama? why? i dunno.. i can only help u find it inside yurself.. ;)

wallahualam..


UYC wrote:

Some conversations I'd like to share (they not necessarily mine ya) about boy & girl only, no kids.

Conversation 1:
I am getting old and I am sad that we do not cuddle up anymore. I want to sleep with you on the bed everyday. When I die first or you die first, I want me or you to not able to sleep at night just because we are not together. If you keep sleeping on the couch / with the children, there is really no 'us'.

Coversation 2:
Baby, tell me...what kind of a slut you want me to be & I'll be it.

Coversation 3:
You see that woman over there, thats the woman I married 20 years ago (apparently the woman just lost 15 kgs and looks lot younger).

Conversation 4:
My wife feels that I am acting and not genuine when I spend a lot more time with her and not be critical of her anymore.
Why do you change, ie spend more time & less critical of her?
I am older, I have less friends, less business and am a lot lonelier. I need her more now.

Conversation 5:
I am with him every second, I need my space.

Conversation 6:
Its already a damaging habit to create a life a round him, I am dying inside.

Just sharing


halimi wrote:

Very simply, the situation is not the same for everty couple. Ada yg salah isteri, banyak sangat MLM cari duit, makan pakai suami semua tak jaga. Tiap-tiap hari makan beli kt kedai. Suami fedup, cari la org lain yg boleh jaga dia.

Ada yg salah suami...isteri kemain punya baik...suami mmg mata liar. Pantang jumpa pompuan tayang kulit lebih sikit, cakap lembut sikit...lebur. Tambah pulak laki duit melimpah ruah...boleh belanja sana sini, bawak betina panjat hotel sana sini...

Ada yang salah dua-dua. Yg bini main jantan lain, yang laki kaki betina.

Ada yang takde salah sapa-sapa. Memang Allah dah takdir si suami nak jumpa cinta buat kali kedua.

So the conclusion? Don't be too quick to judge any situation. The reasons could be many and varied.

Wallahu a'lam.


mdhus wrote:

biarkan limi...jangan dilarang dia orang...dah buat sok baru dia orang tau...terkejar sana terkejar sini..tu belum tiba waktu raya ke kenduri kawin ke...
dia org ni jenis lagi dilarang lagi dia orang nak...


boonchert wrote:

abg is.. kan da setuju ari tuh.. kalo dua mmg susah.. kalo 3 or 4 baru laa senang..
mana ada lagi candidate lain paling sesuai utk prove teori tu.. haa tunggu apa lagi.. ;)
ko le harapan kengkawan, kalo sukses, sure ahli club bertambah.. haha


mdhus wrote:

dia kalau bab2 tu tak payah tipu2..ckp je terus terang..sbbnya sehari dua je bole tipu...tu pun kita je rasa kita dpt tipu padahal bini2 kita tahu yg kita tipu cuma malas nak bising2. nak tgk jauh mana kita bole tipu hehehe..so terus kan lah usaha yg murni tu...

insyaallah jib, ada jodoh ada la kad jemputan nanti hihihi


boonchert wrote:

setuju bro!
(kawan aku kata, "bukan tipu, cuma tak bagitau yg sebenar jer.." kawan aku yg cakap tau..)


mdhus wrote:

tak bagitau yg sebenar hahaah..mcm biasa aku dgr ayat ni...sapa la agaknya kawan nko tu


Hhabib wrote:

but then you're making me worried la... hv I done enough??? Have I??? Oh tidak... banyak loopholes ni!!!!


UYc wrote:

Limah,
We are supposed to belajar from the discussion. Do not worry so much. Every couple is different. I have also seen a man prefer the maid/s to serve the whole household and his wife duduk jadi mem besar. He is happy that way.


lynne wrote:

I agree with Uya, we all have to live according to what we have. Kalau kita ada suami dan anak tak kisah, kita masak ke tak masak ke...then tak pe. Kalau kita ada suami dan anak2 yang tak suka makan luar then we try to accomodate, kalau kita suka dating dgn laki tinggal anak2 , laki tak kisah...buat, kalau laki nak angkut anak pergi dirty weekends pun...angkutlah....yang penting rumah tangga aman damai...We are all different individuals with different upbringings so kena accept and accomodate...if the man decide to pasang "cawangan ", mungkin itu takdir (cewahhh senang cakap) after we have asked ourself wether we have done our best for our family. Yesterday , I was also given the news ada kawan yang found out the hubby ada gf lain, bini org (but now dah janda). My friend went to see the girl and said, if u really love my husband, kita bermadu..but the girlfriend refused and wanted the hubby to divorce my friend. So how lah.....


neezat wrote:

kalau nak tanya why, very subjektif...banyak yang boleh dijadikan sebab dan dikupas, leh buat novel. Yang penting, doa mintak yang baik2..kalau itu yang dapat, itu la yang terbaik mungkin. Kita tak tau...and tak semestinye yg kita tak suka tu yg tak baik utk kita, sume org tau ni..

hish, pada aku (pada aku la..) bende camni kalau nak pikir sgt2, tak jadi keje lain aku...mana nak pikir tart lagi..hehe

aku stuju ngan om, muhasabah diri tu penting...selalu tengok silap sendiri esp yang mcm aku, kurang sabar, kurang iman, kurang bagus, kurang la sume...(kurang tinggi tak masuk yea) Memang tak senang nak tengok salah sendiri, kena la kita rendah kan diri, tau level kita sebagai hamba. InsyaAllah...kalau mulut tak sebut pun, hati boleh terima diri banyak silap, pun kira ok la jugak tu dari sentiasa rasa kita je bagus...
apapun, kita leh usaha je, ujian Tuhan boleh jadi dlm bentuk apapun...Dia je Maha Mengetahui...


boonchert wrote:

setuju dgn akak kecik.. benda nih kalo kita dok pikir, dia jadi.. kawan aku kata "law of attraction".. mind kita tak proses 'want' atau 'don't want'.. otak proses passion kita masa tuh kat mana.. so bila kita asik dok kata "janganlah laki aku kawin lagi".. otak akan proses "laki aku kawin lagi" jer.. lagi selalu kita sebut lagi kuat signal yg kita transmit.. signal nih akan dicapture oleh org yg hantar signal yg sama.. so end up kita, yg dok keliling kita semua org yg 'takut laki kawin lain' dan org2 yg mmg 'laki dah kawin lain'.. sebab tuh org tua2 tak bagi citer benda2 tak elok, dia kata jadi doa.. so instead of citer benda negatif, kita citer benda positif, nanti semua yg positif datang kat kita.. its the power of mind.. kata kawan aku laa.. ;


amri_ya wrote:

aku pun setuju.....tapi nak wat cemana, mmg Allah jadikan pompuan ni worrier......mmg sifat pompuan ni suka pikir benda ke depan. Org laki pun ada yang camtu but kaum hawa lebih lagi. Warrior pun depa gak.....ingat senang ke nak jadi pompuan, segala macam keja depa nak kena buat.

Tp perbuatan pikir yg terlampau ke depan dilarang or tak dibenarkan pasal kita menyibukan diri dengan sesuatu yang belum pasti or tak kompem lagi. Just appreciate apa yang sedang kita nikmati

Firman Allah swt dlm surah An Nahl ayat 1

'.........sesuatu yang telah ditentukan oleh Allah pasti datang, maka janganlah kalian minta disegerakan .....'


boonchert wrote:

aa.. mmg pompuan pikir benda depan jer.. org lelaki yg selalu tak tentu arah, kejap pikir depan kejap pikir belakang.. err.. so jadi pompuan nih senang, cuman soale wong wedok saiki maune dadi lanang.. piye rek?


UYC wrote:

we must always care for how we say things. for me, kalau i am stuck with an issue, I dint want it to linger in my head for long, I want it to be out of my head hence writing it (sometimes) or talking about it. When its out of my head and being discussed, the negativeness of something can becme positive simply because other people's perspectives & my own creates a simpler may to look at things or ideas for my issue to resolve. BUT, be aware of the language that we put forward out thoughts especially about heavy stuuf coz, lidah itu cermin hati and kata2 hati adalah doa.


amri_ya wrote:

Setiap satu insiden tu mesti ada penjelasan tersendiri...just seronok nak tengok pandangan orang coz perspektif org berbeza2. Yang penting, apa2 benda yang terjadi tu tak kira elok or tidak ada pengajaran di sebaliknya. Kekadang kita terlepas pandang akan nikmat yang kita ada sekarang ni.....just dok kecewa ngan benda yang kita tak dapat. Umpamanya....kesihatan yang kita nikmati setiap hari yang membolehkan kita bekerja ngan sempurna, nengok anak bini or laki, beribadat etc....kita kkdg terlupa n jarang bersyukur. Cerita senang.....kata la datuk K offer RM3 juta dengan syarat kita kena membutakan mata kita....nak ka?

So apa yang kita nak kecewa or marah or keliru kalau ditakdirkan lelaki kita kahwin lain...benda tu dah ditentukan. Allah saja nak uji n mempertingkatkan iman kita tu....percayala.

' Kesejahteraan dan kebahagiaan bagi mereka yang bersabar dalam mentaati Allah dan menerima cubaanNya. Syurga adalah sebaik2 tempat kesudahan' ( Ar Rad ayat 24 )

' Adakah kamu mengira bahawa kamu akan masuk syurga, padahal belum datang kepadamu ( cubaan ) sebagaimana halnya orang2 terdahulu sebelum kamu? Mereka ditimpa oleh malapetaka dan kesengsaraan serta digoncangkan ( dengan bermacam- macam cubaan ) '
( Al baqarah ayat 214 )

Wallahuaklam

Budi.....aku doakan anak kau cepat sembuh....


nicky wrote:

singkatannya - "jodoh"..kalau dah jodoh tu tak yah dok lari,menyorok,elak dan sebagainya.sure kena jugak ngan macam macam sebab..
(banyaknya jodoh atuk aku..hihihi)


sabri wrote:

salam,
tambah cawangan ni aku rasa bukan satu yang KADENG KADENG da zaman la ni... macam orang kawin dengan pompuan lebe berumur dari lelaki da jadi kebiasaan.

Cuma banyak keburukukan yang ditonjolkan dalam media danmasyarakat.

Bunyi mudah tp tak semua orang sanggup mengharungi samada lelaki or wanita, hanya yang kuat dan tabah. Orang yang kuat dan tabah itulah yang yang layak perpoligami.

Dari segi emosi, sememangya Allah itu maha berkuasa, walaupun secara lahiriah kita perhati perempuan ni tak suka kongsi2., tp sebenarnya perempuan boleh berkongsi sebab itu Allah berikan hak itu unutk mereka bermadu.

Lelaki walau macho mana pun cakap.. alah kita orang tak kisah kongsi2 seluar ke barang ke... tp cuba awek kita ada pakwe lain?

Mem mem dalam forum ni mana2 yang da ada suami leh la cakap.. tp cuba2 lah letak dalam diri wanita2 yang ditinggalkan suami, yang tak dapat suami lagi. Sifat wanita perlu lelaki, kerana sifatnya dicipta untuk dipasangkan dengan Adam dan Adam pun diberikan Allah Hawa kerana sifat Adam yang perluan Hawa.

Adam akan cari second Hawa bergantung kepada, Jodoh or hawa itu sendiri tak jadi hawa yang sebenar kejadian.

sudah tentu statement aku berat kepada lelaki kerana aku tak tau minda wanita ( so mintak ampun maaf kat wanita).

So kalau kaum hawa cakap... aleh... Adam sendiri tak tentu arah or tak betul.. ada hati nak cari hawa yang kedua.. ingatlah... di akhirat...ada jawapannya.

Bukan senang nak dapat privellege di akhirat dari kepanasan mentari sejengkal dari kepala , payung emas yang di ejek sesetangah wanita tu lah dapat membantu.

Nak dapat syahid bukan mudah, begitu juga payung emas...

so aku kalau dengar ada kawan2 tambah rezeki(cawangan).. insyallah akan aku doakan beroleh kebaikan dan krahmatan serta kebahagian.

wassalam


Hhabib wrote:

bukan ke kalo betul2 nak ikut sunnah Nabi... 1st wife janda yg lebih tua dari hubby, then bila 1st wife dah meninggal baru bukak cawangan... cawangan pun bukak untuk berbagai tujuan kebaikan masyarakat keseluruhan....


sabri wrote:

haha.. naik ikut 100% tak leh ikut 60% pun ok..

and aku tak rasa itu alasan Adam tambah cawangan pun,,, cuma itu alasan biasa yang nak sedapkan mulut


Hhabib wrote:

kiranya guna as "alasan" bukan betul2 ikut sunnah la ye????

kalo betul2 nak ikut sunnah, apa kata kita list down dulu sunnah Nabi yg mudah2... buat dan ikut dulu, baru buat yg challenging punyer..


sabri wrote:

dok zaman ni pun sikit punya gila challenging.. bil itu bil ini,, road tax.. bla bla


boonchert wrote:

serabut dunia yer? hehe
back to basic.. what u want for yurself?


Hhabib wrote:

he he he.... itu baru citer pasal bills and taxes....
blom citer stress kat tempat keje....
keperluan anak bini....
keinginan diri sendiri.....
tanggungjawap ngan parents.....
tanggungjawap ngan adik beradik.....
(tu baru citer duniawi tu)


boonchert wrote:

err.. mah.. Nabi saw kata kalo nak nikah sebaik2nya anak dara.. dia tak suruh kawin dengan janda kaya.. isteri Nabi saw 11 org, tapi dia bagi kita quota 4 saja.. macam sabri cakap.. 60% jer..

cuma macam sabri tulis sebelum tuh.. depends kat kita nak dengar yg mana.. nak dengar yg tak elok atau yg elok.. bila kita asik dok dengar yg tak elok, maka semua yg tak elok pun datang keliling kita..

guess why dunia huru-hara sekarang nih? korg tengok berita tv.. semua tunjuk benda tak elok.. no wonder laa kita huru-hara.. dah kita mintak hari2, pastuh kita heran kenapa jadi.. ironi kan?


Hhabib wrote:

ironi!
tapi aku suka lelaki terus terang... dah jatuh hati sekali lagi... nak buat camner... jgn cari ALASAN.... kadang2 kalu ada kes cerai berai, you can see that si suami sebenarnya sayang sumer wives dia, cuma yg mintak cerai tu tak leh terima... contoh nya... cam kes Norman ngan Abby... aku tak percaya yang Norman tu bila dah jumpa Memey dia terus tak suka dan tak sayang si Abby tu... so, cara penyampaian tu kena betul la, baru bini boleh terima KOT?


boonchert wrote:

haha.. bila aku terbaca ko mention "cara penyampaian" kat ujung tuh walaupun mula2 tulis "suka lelaki terus terang", aku teringat kawan aku penah cakap..

"korg jangan terpedaya dgn pompuan bila dia kata dia nak kejujuran, diorg takleh handle jujur tuh, yg diorg sebut kejujuran tuh ialah perkara2 yg menyenangkan hati diorg.. so korg jangan buat giler main cakap jer apa yg korg nak cakap.."

tuh kawan aku cakap laa.. hehe


Hhabib wrote:

still.. kawan ko the bestest!!! terel reading between the lines!!!


sabri wrote:

aku setuju JIB...
aku saja gurau2 dengan wif dulu.... seminggu macam tahanan lanun somalia.


boonchert wrote:

hahahaa..
ada byk benda kita leh belajar psal pompuan dari kisah Nabi saw merajuk dengan semua isteri2 baginda.. ;)

dalam dunia nih takder yg kebetulan, semua dah siap..
semua benda yg datang kat kita tuh adalah kita yg request..
cuma kita pasan dgn tak pasan jer kita dok mintak.. ;)


sabri wrote:

salam,
aku tak ada pengalaman pasang dua so tak leh komen pasal perasaaan kat no 1. But ada banyak kawan yang ada 2 or 3.

kata depa. Tidak berkurang, malah bertambah sayang ( ni kalau kawin bukan sebab hawa nfsu lah).

.. love ni bukan macam kek... kasi satu abis satu bahagian.. love is like pasang dua tiga lampu suluh at the same spot.... lampu suluh tau... bukan spot light.. spot light ... panas beb


boonchert wrote:

mantab sab!
tapi aku tak rasa org pompuan paham.. bagi diorg bila suami ada org lain maknanya dah kurang sayang kat diorg sebab kena bagi kat org lain.. to be frank, kasih sayang pompuan mmg camtuh.. ada satu jer.. so kalo bagi satu, satu tuh jer laa.. sebab tuh bila dah nikah, tanggungjawab pompuan kat suami saja.. anak2 pun bukan tanggungjawab dia.. lain org lelaki, tanggungjawab baru kabul, tanggungjawab lama jalan jugak, tanggungjawab ke depan (anak2) datang jugak.. ini fitrah.. bukan alasan nak kawin lain..

sebab tuh Nabi saw suh cari isteri yg ada agama, rupa, harta dan keturunan.. complete package.. tuh yg ada semua, khadijah ra saja.. bila dapat yg complete tak perlu dah yg lain.. sebab tuh Nabi saw tak pernah poligami masa dgn khadijah ra..

umpama berjalan di padang pasir di malam yg gelap gelita.. isteri umpama bintang2 di langit.. penunjuk jalan.. bukan semua org penah gie padang pasir ek?.. ok umpama masuk ke dalam gua, isteri umpama kunang2.. boleh? ;)

wallahualam..


nicky wrote:

eeerrrr nak complete package tu boleh tak kalau sorang kaya gila, sorang rajin gila, sorang comel gila dan seterusnya..bila kumpul kumpul jadi complete??


boonchert wrote:

agak2 kenapa quota tuh cuma 4?


mdhus wrote:

sebulan lebih kurang ada 4 minggu..so sorang seminggu..(salah satu sebab)


zuber wrote:

Minggu utk rehat tak dak ka


mdhus wrote:

rehat?? amenda tu??


Hhabib wrote:

ha ha ha Bet.. rehat tak de dlm kamus hidup Abg Is...


sabri wrote:

salam,
ada kawan bincang bab ni... sebenornya kita lebe kepada nafsu aja.. nak baju kualiti gila alasan ganjaran kita penat kerja.. beras nak gred AAA aja,, walhal masuk perut sama je kabohidrat dia.. nak sayur butter aje.. sedangkan daun ubi pun sama..

kita anti kapitalist tp aku pun hidup kearah kapitalist... so aku sendiri cakap tak serupa bikin

tp aku kalu nak ikut... emmmm


boonchert wrote:

true.. sebab tuh bila kita dok sebut hidup nih satu proses.. satu perjalanan panjang..
proses apa? perjalanan kemana? itu yg kita kena decide..

org lelaki yg napak gatal dan hebat pun kdg2 bukan perform sangat.. kena amik ubat jugak..
its about control.. macammana kita nak kontrol nafsu kita..
nafsu nak marah, nafsu nak mengumpat, nafsu nak kecik hati, nafsu kedekut..

boleh ker kita senyum tanpa rasa sakit hati bila org maki kita kat public?
boleh ker kita kuaukan dividen asb tahun lepas dan sedekah semua tanpa rasa rugi?
kalau kita sendiri kata tak boleh maka tak boleh laa..
dah kita tak percaya mana leh jadi sabar dan tawakal kan? ;)

padahal kita tahu berapa besar rahmat Tuhan bagi hidup tenang bila maafkan org..
dan kita tahu Tuhan kata kita bagi sedekah satu kerna Dia, maka Dia ganti 70 kali ganda..
tapi bila kita tak yakin, hingat Tuhan nak bagi? hehe

(nih aku cakap kat diri sendiri, korg jgn terasa hati lak.. ;))


abu Azwan wrote:

Kak Mah,
aku sebenarnya kagum and envy ngan kawan-kawan aku yang BERANI ni...
Cumanya, tiap kali tajuk ni keluar je, asyik citer yang payah/sukar je. Bab balik raya la, bab kenduri kendara la...mcm2.
Eish aku tengok abg Usin tu, makin gemilang je... ... siap makin muda lagi hahaha

Mesti ada RAHSIA yang tak di kongsi sama... hang citer la sikit kawan:-).. Boleh la jugak kami2 ni nak jadikan panduan..


mdhus wrote:

yang mudah/seronok tu rahsia....nak kongsi kena tempat yg sesuai!!


boonchert wrote:

aiseh bang.. takkan tak habis tanya lagi.. kan janji ujung taun.. hehe


abu Azwan wrote:

Tu la.. tak BERANI wak hahaha..


KSS wrote:

tu yg dia minta cerita yang baik2 kat sini ni (bila bab ni, dia mencelah... hehe).. sebab nak develop keBERANIan dia la tu....

so, yg dah pengalaman tu... apa lagi..... cerita.. cerita.... (Ucin & geng)


abu Azwan wrote:

Hah! Hang memang la sahabat aku bro.. pandai hang "read my mind"..
Aku tau pun, umoq-umoq macam kita ni pikiaq sama ja... hahaha


Hhabib wrote:

ala biasala manusia tak pernah puas, yg kahwin ramai bila pening kepala wish ada 1 wife or none at all, yg tengok org tua2 dpt bini muda putih gebu nak kahwin lebih dari satu....

ha... tengok tak citer Cucu Betong, kan bini no. 1 tu examplary gitu, bini no 2 lak buat hal....then laki makin sayang kat bini no 1.

Pada aku dah dpt jadi bini no 1 dah syukur banyak dah, kita banyak lalu susah senang ngan laki kita, mcm Rasulullah saw pun, selalu ingatkan dan sebutkan Khadijah sampai Aishah pun cemburu... hopefully laki kita2 ni pun sama, tetap pulang ke rumah no.1


UYC wrote:

Limah, mind your language.

Pada aku dah dpt jadi bini no 1 dah syukur banyak dah, kita banyak lalu susah senang ngan laki kita, mcm Rasulullah saw pun, selalu ingatkan dan sebutkan Khadijah sampai Aishah pun cemburu... kita doa that kita saja tempat our husband come home to and our home is his heart, Amin.


Hhabib wrote:

Amin.....


boonchert wrote:

Rasullullah saw sebut Khadijah ra sampai Aishah ra cemburu tuh bukan sebab Khadijah ra isteri pertama.. ;)
kita nih suka refer benda yg kena dgn kita jer.. byk jugak kes bini kedua lebih baik dari bini pertama.. cuma tak masuk tv..
but i rest my case.. mcm kawan aku cakap, always trust your first instinct.. ;)


Hhabib wrote:

betul apa pak mujib cakap tu...

kalau kita as first wife rasa kita have done our part, then insyaallah akan dihargai... itulah maksud akak adanya...


boonchert wrote:

amin.. kita nih hamba.. dunia nih takder makna..
Tuhan nih ada byk cara nak sentuh kita, kita jer tak perasan.. ;)
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